I’m not gonna lie; it’s been rough. Not as rough as I compare it to some college deadlines and such, but I knew I’d be pushing myself for a few weeks. Since this is the last week, its total crunch time, but I always push myself through whatever while I look ahead to crashing afterwards (as long as there usually is an afterwards).
If you don’t know, I’m finishing up Elementary Prep kits for 4 different language groups and my deadline (that all must be done) is January 8th. Because of this, lots of this holiday season has been cut short. I didn’t work at the office on Christmas Day, but the other days, I’ve worked. I’ve even come in on weekends. For this week, I may not get a “weekend” until the 8th.
So what’s all involved in this? I’ve been working on things leading up to this moment ever since I started working in the office. Elementary Prep Kits include (but are not limited to): Term Plans, Curriculum, two Books per week (for 40 ish weeks), Songs, Games, Finger Exercises, a notebook of Teacher Help stuff, Shapes, Keyword Cards, Number Cards, Alphabet Books, and so on. All of these have been adapted to each language group, checked over (I don’t even know how many times now), and they all could still have some tweaking to be done.
All of this to say that from the first week in December 2013 until D-day (8th of January 2014), I’ve been striving to have all four languages done. Thankfully, I’ve had some help. Eunice, before she left, adapted one of the languages’ curriculum and was great at suggesting how I could delegate laminating, cutting, and such tasks to others. (*Side note: I totally suck at delegating... it’s bad.) Sheila, Josephine, Kathy, Lois, and some others have chipped in when they could to help cutting, binding books, and so on. Lori printed off some books for a language group. Lindy, Delaina, and Lindsey have helped to get some books into A5 form (a smaller book for the kids to use. The teachers have A4 size.) And there are the encouragers like Emily, Robin, and those that I’ve already mentioned. They keep checking on me to make sure I’ve eaten, to make sure I know that they’re there for me, and to make sure I haven’t turned into a complete zombie.
And then there’s Diane. What can I say about her?! She rocks... and if I wore socks in PNG, they would totally be rocked off. She’s been there from the beginning, helping me learn what I’m suppose to do and how to do it right. She’s been willing to step in and help ANY time that I’ve needed it. Talk about a servant that shows she cares by what she does!
So with a bit more stress on my shoulders lately, my mind can get grumpy. (*Another side note: I’m also a bit hypoglycemic so when my blood sugar gets lower, I get weak, shakey, and then can get really mean. Some don’t understand what goes through my head at these times so they have the illusion that I’m still sweet... right.) Anyway, its been a more shaky day today (Friday). I had both of my peanut butter and jam sandwiches so I was getting weak and coming close to cussing out appliances. (Keep in mind that I arrived at work a bit before 9am and it was nearing 8pm... after a week already working around 42 hours.) Diane (the only other one working in the office area that I’m in currently) had gone to her apartment (above the office) to make dinner and go to bed. For some reason, the printer stopped working. I was checking everywhere that I could think of to find some kind of paper jam, but wasn’t finding much. I’d started messing up more on how to print the tons of books that must be printed and thought that crying might be a good release, with no one being around. For some reason, my mind couldn't stop long enough to start crying so I moved on, got things working again, found the stupid “paper jam”, and started printing another round of books.
That’s when Diane knocked on the door. When I opened it, I found her standing with a tray of food! We’re talking corn, potatoes, chicken, and kind of apple sauce but made with mangos and rhubarb instead. (*Yet another side note: though being with wonderful and encouraging people really does make her day, if you give Michelle food--especially the good kind of food--when she’s hypoglycemic, stressed, and quite a bit hungry, you automatically become a super hero.)
Yep. She brought it just for me! Though many acts of kindness have gotten me from hour to hour, this gesture blew me out of the water! It had me praising God, repenting of every despicable thought towards people and machinery, and got me pumped to finish at (in my mind) an appropriate stopping place. So, I hugged Diane, ate one of the best tasting meals I’ve had in I don’t know how long (no offense to any other wonderful meal), and worked until 11pm. That’d be 14 hours of working today, and I’m still probably going to work a bit tomorrow (Saturday).
Thus, here’s my point in this blog: to those who uplift me from saying a word of encouragement, giving me a smile, sharing advice or food, to those who make sure I get to my car at night (thanks William and Robin), you all represent God’s love, and I consider you close to my heart. May you be blessed because you have blessed me, and may I go on to bless others as I have been blessed by God and you.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Not about Phil
I can’t even count how many comments I’ve seen about Phil (from Duck Dynasty) and his interview that stirred up so many people.
What grieves me the most is all the divisiveness. Its almost like “which side are you on” and that makes me wonder about something bigger.
From our government’s arguing back and forth from Democrats versus Republicans (and “closing the government), to which way the toilet paper should be on the dispenser (yeah, that’s even a subject of debate among some... wow), there are always going to be disagreements. I’m not saying that we should all become apathetic, let others run us over, or not fight for what we believe in. I do think, however, that we’ve forgotten a great bit of wisdom: we can only control ourselves.
In this holiday season, it is SUPPOSE to be a time of Peace and Love. We are the “United” States, but for years and years, we don’t really act like it. I guess the question that’s on my mind is: why can’t we state our reasoning, disagree, accept others’ viewpoints, and stop bickering? Give it a rest after that. Everyone seems to have stated their piece. Now let’s chill for a bit and enjoy our diversity, our freedom to think, and get back to the one thing that trumps everything: Love.
If we agree to disagree and thus become united again as a people, we have more of a chance to out-ride the hardships that this world can throw at us.
So, what cha say, America?... Peace?
What grieves me the most is all the divisiveness. Its almost like “which side are you on” and that makes me wonder about something bigger.
From our government’s arguing back and forth from Democrats versus Republicans (and “closing the government), to which way the toilet paper should be on the dispenser (yeah, that’s even a subject of debate among some... wow), there are always going to be disagreements. I’m not saying that we should all become apathetic, let others run us over, or not fight for what we believe in. I do think, however, that we’ve forgotten a great bit of wisdom: we can only control ourselves.
In this holiday season, it is SUPPOSE to be a time of Peace and Love. We are the “United” States, but for years and years, we don’t really act like it. I guess the question that’s on my mind is: why can’t we state our reasoning, disagree, accept others’ viewpoints, and stop bickering? Give it a rest after that. Everyone seems to have stated their piece. Now let’s chill for a bit and enjoy our diversity, our freedom to think, and get back to the one thing that trumps everything: Love.
If we agree to disagree and thus become united again as a people, we have more of a chance to out-ride the hardships that this world can throw at us.
So, what cha say, America?... Peace?
Motivations (blog from November)
We Christians seem to have a few unspoken expectations... and yet I suppose, at one time or another, they are spoken. A big one is “God is first”. I don’t disagree and, though many may put on a front to fulfill this expectation for those who have it, this post is not about them (and I’m including me in that because I’ve done it too).
Lately, I’ve been needing a bit of focus and motivation. When I mess up while cooking (has been happening way more than usual recently), I need something to spur me on so I can try new recipes or at least get the ones I’ve been living on right. When I’m at work, I strive to have enough focus to complete the huge task that I’m hoping to complete without boredom (I’ve realized that offices aren’t places where I focus best). Even exercising, I need that bit of motivation to push myself when I’m getting tired (and sometimes motivation to do it in the first place).
For things like caring for dogs (that aren’t mine and for those that are...), that is motivation enough. I’m not saying I want to be an official “dog trainer”, but being with people and cute animals, outside, and getting to move around really makes me happy.
But for now, back to what my issue is. I find myself doing things for others. God is a part of that, but shouldn’t he be all? ...ya know, the whole reason for why I do things?
Lately, I’ve been needing a bit of focus and motivation. When I mess up while cooking (has been happening way more than usual recently), I need something to spur me on so I can try new recipes or at least get the ones I’ve been living on right. When I’m at work, I strive to have enough focus to complete the huge task that I’m hoping to complete without boredom (I’ve realized that offices aren’t places where I focus best). Even exercising, I need that bit of motivation to push myself when I’m getting tired (and sometimes motivation to do it in the first place).
For things like caring for dogs (that aren’t mine and for those that are...), that is motivation enough. I’m not saying I want to be an official “dog trainer”, but being with people and cute animals, outside, and getting to move around really makes me happy.
But for now, back to what my issue is. I find myself doing things for others. God is a part of that, but shouldn’t he be all? ...ya know, the whole reason for why I do things?
Cloudy Day from October
There’s something about rain, listening to James Taylor, and staring in the face of a huge task and thus wanting to procrastinate that makes me more inclined to sit with a cup of coffee or tea and write a blog. Plus, the fact that I’m missing (once again) my beautiful Tennessee Autumn time and the cool crisp in the air increases the inclination. I feel like a little child throwing a fit inwardly, constantly repeating “I don’t wanna! No! I don’t wanna!” So here I am. At the beginning (again) of this task that will change who-knows how many times and will have to be redone (not just tweak) over and over. Is it worth it?
To the guys that traveled on a PMV for hours, probably. For those they will take the literacy kits to, most likely. For the possible change that all of this can effect and the feed back to make it better, sure. But absolutely for those who will learn how to read their heart language and be closer to interacting with God’s Word, it is worth it. So, I start... again. Like a continuous board game that goes around and around, I’m going again. I’ll be back to the States again one day... but for now, I’ve got a job to do. Let’s pump up the jam...
What a somber day. Yes, after some conversation on what word to actually use in describing this rainy day, that’s the word. Not depressing necessarily, but solemn with a bit of gray. One of those days I just want to curl up in a blanket (or something lighter, being here in the tropics... though it can give off the feel of being cool) and read all day. Almost a do-nothing day. Thank the Lord above that its Friday!!!!!!!
“You gotta get up and try, try, try...” ~P!nk Yep, who knew this’d be a motivator?
To the guys that traveled on a PMV for hours, probably. For those they will take the literacy kits to, most likely. For the possible change that all of this can effect and the feed back to make it better, sure. But absolutely for those who will learn how to read their heart language and be closer to interacting with God’s Word, it is worth it. So, I start... again. Like a continuous board game that goes around and around, I’m going again. I’ll be back to the States again one day... but for now, I’ve got a job to do. Let’s pump up the jam...
What a somber day. Yes, after some conversation on what word to actually use in describing this rainy day, that’s the word. Not depressing necessarily, but solemn with a bit of gray. One of those days I just want to curl up in a blanket (or something lighter, being here in the tropics... though it can give off the feel of being cool) and read all day. Almost a do-nothing day. Thank the Lord above that its Friday!!!!!!!
“You gotta get up and try, try, try...” ~P!nk Yep, who knew this’d be a motivator?
Thursday, November 21, 2013
At Sixteen Months
Sixteen months. Just saying “a year” doesn’t quite cut it at this point. Its been more than that. There are friends that have commented that 16 can’t be correct; it feels longer than that. I suppose when you miss someone who is far away, it can seem prolonged. I’m technically out of sight (except for newsletters and other communication methods) yet not completely out of mind.
Sixteen months in Papua New Guinea. That’s about the span of time that I spent managing and living at a guest house after college. But my time here isn’t over quite yet. I have about 5 months (4 and 1/2 more specifically) until I get back to the States. While I’m there, I’ll reevaluate what’s next (if I’m to come back here or do something else). My mind has already started the evaluation process, but my decision will be made in the States (unless God gives me a clear path before that time).
The office seems to be less occupied than usual. Many people are either on furlough, going on furlough, on vacation, going finish, or out on different locations (in a village or up at Uka). Its odd. I suppose this is another reminder of our lives in transition. We might not be the ones leaving, but others do. I really appreciate the people that work here. I hope that my leaving doesn’t dampen anyone’s spirits.
Holidays are coming up, and its still often sunny and hot here. There’s no snow and Thanksgiving (on the last Thursday of the month of November) isn’t an official holiday here in PNG. Don’t worry. Its the one USA holiday that we get time off for. (We get holidays like Christmas too, but that’s a PNG holiday as well.)
One thing about being in a foreign country: underlying traits and motives can be seen in oneself easier than in one’s own culture. I see some things I need to change about myself, some things that I need to enhance as well as refine, and some things that are simply me. It can be difficult realizing certain ways or traits aren’t best and should be changed. The other side of it is rewarding for the chance to improve and strengthen oneself to live a more enriched life (for God’s glory).
There are times I want to go back to the States. Times I want to live in my own dreams, and then my eyes open, focus, and I wake up. I look around and notice that I have a purpose here. I have things to finish, people to love on, and blessings to thank God for. There will be a time to go back Stateside, but for now, I’ll live and serve where I am.
Where are you?
Sixteen months in Papua New Guinea. That’s about the span of time that I spent managing and living at a guest house after college. But my time here isn’t over quite yet. I have about 5 months (4 and 1/2 more specifically) until I get back to the States. While I’m there, I’ll reevaluate what’s next (if I’m to come back here or do something else). My mind has already started the evaluation process, but my decision will be made in the States (unless God gives me a clear path before that time).
The office seems to be less occupied than usual. Many people are either on furlough, going on furlough, on vacation, going finish, or out on different locations (in a village or up at Uka). Its odd. I suppose this is another reminder of our lives in transition. We might not be the ones leaving, but others do. I really appreciate the people that work here. I hope that my leaving doesn’t dampen anyone’s spirits.
Holidays are coming up, and its still often sunny and hot here. There’s no snow and Thanksgiving (on the last Thursday of the month of November) isn’t an official holiday here in PNG. Don’t worry. Its the one USA holiday that we get time off for. (We get holidays like Christmas too, but that’s a PNG holiday as well.)
One thing about being in a foreign country: underlying traits and motives can be seen in oneself easier than in one’s own culture. I see some things I need to change about myself, some things that I need to enhance as well as refine, and some things that are simply me. It can be difficult realizing certain ways or traits aren’t best and should be changed. The other side of it is rewarding for the chance to improve and strengthen oneself to live a more enriched life (for God’s glory).
There are times I want to go back to the States. Times I want to live in my own dreams, and then my eyes open, focus, and I wake up. I look around and notice that I have a purpose here. I have things to finish, people to love on, and blessings to thank God for. There will be a time to go back Stateside, but for now, I’ll live and serve where I am.
Where are you?
Monday, September 23, 2013
Diverse Unity
Sunscreen, check. Water, check. Camera, double check. It was a beautiful day on the 24th of August and perfect for heading to a cultural show. I’d been to one before (last year), but the one I went to wasn’t as densely attended as this one. As our group stood in line to get in through the gate, another group (all dressed up, dancing and singing) passed us. What a way to make an entrance! When we got inside, there were many different groups practicing their traditional “singsings” (dances and songs). Various groups were painted and dressed up, some in bright colors, others in more earthy colors. After a while, it was slightly overwhelming.
Through the assorted groups and styles, I got to step back and see what Papua New Guinea (and more over, all of the world) is about. There are many ways to do one thing and we’re all so different. However, through all of our diversity, we are the same. We are flesh and blood and spirit. We desperately seek our purpose for being here on the earth. The great thing is that God has revealed what that purpose is. Exalt God and care for others. (Matt. 22:37-39) I thank God that He has made us all unique. Life would be boring if He hadn’t. But I also praise Him when we can come together in unity despite our differences.
Through the assorted groups and styles, I got to step back and see what Papua New Guinea (and more over, all of the world) is about. There are many ways to do one thing and we’re all so different. However, through all of our diversity, we are the same. We are flesh and blood and spirit. We desperately seek our purpose for being here on the earth. The great thing is that God has revealed what that purpose is. Exalt God and care for others. (Matt. 22:37-39) I thank God that He has made us all unique. Life would be boring if He hadn’t. But I also praise Him when we can come together in unity despite our differences.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Walk the Line
There is often wisdom shared from God’s Word (as well as other sources) about the downfalls of “pride”. Let’s face it, most (if not all) know the saying “Pride comes before a fall.” Many (once again, if not all) have experienced such examples personally or, in the least, had a first-hand view (for those out there who don’t like to admit falling). In the same respect, “low self-esteem” is something people usually try to avoid now-a-days. I have realized that both of these side-effects usually happen because of bad comparisons and such.
It all started quite a long time ago. “...Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time, Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.” (Gen. 4:2b-5)
Personally, I don’t claim to know all the exact details of this offering. For all I know, Cain simply decided to give what he’d tended to God. I didn’t read that he was keeping back his best, and though it may even be implied, that’s not what I want to focus on right now. Even before Cain and Abel, we know who the first liar was. No wonder I don’t like snakes. God even goes on to warn Cain about this creepy, sneaky, lil devil. “Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” (Gen. 4:6-7; my emphasis)
We know the rest of the sad story (and if you don’t, look it up). It was jealousy. It was a bad comparison. It was a lie. You heard who was at the door. Whether we think we’re “all that” (and better than anyone) or wish we were more like someone else, we’re falling for the lie.
So why am I writing about this...? Nope, haven’t killed anyone. Comparing is one of the many lessons I’ve been learning lately. I can lean both ways. Recently, I’ve started running with a group. I’ve learned that running is mostly mind over body. When I run, I find my mind battling against whether to stop or keep running (showing if I’m weak or not). When I’m around other hard-working Christians, I wonder if I’m working enough or if they think I’m lazy. When I have to speak publically after someone, I figure what I have to say isn’t really important. Then again, when someone makes a fool out of him or herself, I reason I’d never do that. When I rock something out (or do something well), people should take notice, right? Well... I think you get the point.
All of my life, I’ve looked at others and have either not measured up or think I’ve exceeded them. (Just a side note: this isn’t a 24/7 way of viewing people. I’m just saying that these side-effects reoccur.) Working here, I’m around amazing missionaries who have stuck it out for years and years (some for longer than I’ve been alive). They’ve got a tremendous work-ethic, are encouraging, and know SO much more than I do (along with the practical experience in their fields). On the other hand, there are also baby Christians here. I could make the point that I’ve been in the “family” almost all of my life, gone to Bible college, and have the Word of God not only in my own language, but, moreover, have other sources (commentaries, etc.) that can expand my understanding if I get confused. This isn’t exclusively about Pride and Prejudice ...umm, I mean Belittlement of one’s self. Its about lies and focus. Therefore, I came up with a few steps to hopefully counter these effects. (Yes, they all start with “R”.)
Step 1: Realize what’s up. Take notice of what’s going through your mind. If its a side-effect like pride or low self-esteem (with possible jealousy tendencies), its probably a safe bet its a trap set up by a freaky snake at your door.
Step 2: Remember who God is. He is Truth, Light, Creator, Savior, Father, Redeemer, etc. (really... keep naming His titles and meditate on His character). He’s our focus and the One we can strive to be like (and yet still accepts us as we are). [See Galatians 1:10 if you like.]
Step 3: After the refresher on God’s character, Recall who we are to Him. You are His child (which means you’re worth it to Him) and so are all those in the “family” (so they’re as worth it as you are). To everyone else who hasn’t yet gone through the adoption process, “The Lord ...is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Pet. 3:9) In other words (or the words of Owen Wilson in “Night At the Museum”), “I ain’t quittin’ you!” So I say “Hallelujah!”
Thus, here I am. Still a work in progress. I pray that God continues His work with all of us so that one day we will live in unity, truth, and light.
It all started quite a long time ago. “...Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time, Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.” (Gen. 4:2b-5)
Personally, I don’t claim to know all the exact details of this offering. For all I know, Cain simply decided to give what he’d tended to God. I didn’t read that he was keeping back his best, and though it may even be implied, that’s not what I want to focus on right now. Even before Cain and Abel, we know who the first liar was. No wonder I don’t like snakes. God even goes on to warn Cain about this creepy, sneaky, lil devil. “Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” (Gen. 4:6-7; my emphasis)
We know the rest of the sad story (and if you don’t, look it up). It was jealousy. It was a bad comparison. It was a lie. You heard who was at the door. Whether we think we’re “all that” (and better than anyone) or wish we were more like someone else, we’re falling for the lie.
So why am I writing about this...? Nope, haven’t killed anyone. Comparing is one of the many lessons I’ve been learning lately. I can lean both ways. Recently, I’ve started running with a group. I’ve learned that running is mostly mind over body. When I run, I find my mind battling against whether to stop or keep running (showing if I’m weak or not). When I’m around other hard-working Christians, I wonder if I’m working enough or if they think I’m lazy. When I have to speak publically after someone, I figure what I have to say isn’t really important. Then again, when someone makes a fool out of him or herself, I reason I’d never do that. When I rock something out (or do something well), people should take notice, right? Well... I think you get the point.
All of my life, I’ve looked at others and have either not measured up or think I’ve exceeded them. (Just a side note: this isn’t a 24/7 way of viewing people. I’m just saying that these side-effects reoccur.) Working here, I’m around amazing missionaries who have stuck it out for years and years (some for longer than I’ve been alive). They’ve got a tremendous work-ethic, are encouraging, and know SO much more than I do (along with the practical experience in their fields). On the other hand, there are also baby Christians here. I could make the point that I’ve been in the “family” almost all of my life, gone to Bible college, and have the Word of God not only in my own language, but, moreover, have other sources (commentaries, etc.) that can expand my understanding if I get confused. This isn’t exclusively about Pride and Prejudice ...umm, I mean Belittlement of one’s self. Its about lies and focus. Therefore, I came up with a few steps to hopefully counter these effects. (Yes, they all start with “R”.)
Step 1: Realize what’s up. Take notice of what’s going through your mind. If its a side-effect like pride or low self-esteem (with possible jealousy tendencies), its probably a safe bet its a trap set up by a freaky snake at your door.
Step 2: Remember who God is. He is Truth, Light, Creator, Savior, Father, Redeemer, etc. (really... keep naming His titles and meditate on His character). He’s our focus and the One we can strive to be like (and yet still accepts us as we are). [See Galatians 1:10 if you like.]
Step 3: After the refresher on God’s character, Recall who we are to Him. You are His child (which means you’re worth it to Him) and so are all those in the “family” (so they’re as worth it as you are). To everyone else who hasn’t yet gone through the adoption process, “The Lord ...is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Pet. 3:9) In other words (or the words of Owen Wilson in “Night At the Museum”), “I ain’t quittin’ you!” So I say “Hallelujah!”
Thus, here I am. Still a work in progress. I pray that God continues His work with all of us so that one day we will live in unity, truth, and light.
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