Constructive Criticism

Have you ever watched a talent show (like American Idol, America's Got Talent, or other--obviously not all from America) and seen those who think they can sing... and can't? When a judge is straight up blunt with them, it hurts but is somewhat refreshing too. Still, how could they not see it before being on national television!? Oh yes... because friends or family or perfect strangers all wanted to be uplifting and didn't want to hurt someone's feelings, right?

There can be denial that happens as a result of such news ...or acceptance.

I want to apply this to a few other abilities beyond singing. Think of interior design. Or directing. Or dancing. Or acting. Or counseling. And so on and so on. Almost any job. When is it a good time to say, "look, I don't think this is for you... not your strong suit"? (Seriously, I'm wanting an answer here!)

Now, I don't want to be misunderstood. I believe that people need to try new things and can learn from experience. If someone messes up, learn from it!

What I'm talking about is a person that is either a sensitive (or sometimes stubborn) friend or even a superior. A person who keeps on making the same mistakes over and over and doesn't see them as mistakes to correct. A person who gives you jobs to do so that their decisions affect how others see you as well.

Criticism can come to anyone at any time, but turning it into constructive criticism takes work and practice. I'm totally not perfect at giving it yet. However, when I try to give it to someone who doesn't even want it (or refuses to listen at all), its rough.

Let's flip it around. Could you (or I) be one of these people that thinks we're awesome at something when we're just not? Are you able to take advise or direction? I know its hard for me in times when I don't respect the person giving it or when I've just not processed the fact that I need it. We can ultimately only change ourselves, but we do have an effect on others around us.

Let's not be critical, but be constructive.

Valentine's Day... Why?

I have never had a date (with a guy) on Valentine's Day. I've gotten to hang out with friends, and (though I can call them "friend dates") its not the same.

While I was in PNG, I didn't have a problem with this day. There's nothing to remind me of it because it doesn't exist there. When I was younger, I loved it. I would try to do something for my parents and enjoyed sending cute messages to classmates. As I got into high school, I liked surprising some of my friends with notes/valentines of encouragement and greetings. This followed a bit into college where those of my friends who were single would get together with me, and we'd hang out to celebrate our singleness as well as our annoyance of the "couple holiday".

Now that I'm in the States and have all of these commercials, gifts, and banquets shoved to my attention again, I decided to look up who started it in the first place (so I'd know who to blame).

According to an article that I found on the internet (surely true, right?), a pope was trying to replace a holiday around the month of February that had guys picking girl's names out of an urn so that those girls would be their lovers for a full year. The pope apparently wanted to change it to pick out a saint's name and strive to act more like them throughout the year. I can see the reasons for this, but it didn't really work. Eventually, it changed into what we've got today with more details that I'm sure you can find on the internet as well.

So, what do I do now? I guess I'll do what I've been doing: celebrate my singleness and encourage others through it. I will admit that I have moments when I'm bummed out, but why should I get down because I don't have a date? I have many lovely people in my life... and if that fails (because they all are coupled up), there's always jamming out to music and having a personal dance party. But even more so than these things, I have God who loves me and knows what I need, right when I need it.

Happy Valentine's Day OR Single's Awareness Day everyone!