Hungry Hearers

One of the things we got to be involved in (up at Igoi) was sharing a kind of podcast thing that one of our missionaries had put together. The topic of the podcast was on prayer. It was in both Pidgin (the main trade language) and Sob (their vernacular or "heart" language). Usually, if we had something like this in the USA, we might listen to it once and move on. That's kind of what I expected when we told the people about it.

We had set a time for whoever wanted to come and listen. The thing was that it wasn't soon enough. It ended up that a group wanted to hear it sooner than I'd thought, so the missionary that put it together went and set it up. He gave out laminated papers with the Lord's Prayer in the language of Sob on it and encouraged people to hang it up in their house as a reminder to pray and also a reminder of how powerful prayer can be.

 Later, more people (and some of the original people who were there at the first hearing) came in want of hearing the podcast. Some from the first time asked if we could make the program longer (or add other things outside of the podcast) because about 15 to 30 minutes wasn't enough. Thus, we did. This second hearing was right around sun down. We got out lights and held them up so everyone could practice reading, reciting, and remembering the Lord's Prayer from the laminated paper. (Naturally, bugs came toward the lights and would cling to our clothes or get in our faces. Still, the lights shown so people could see.) This had elongated the program a bit, but still, they asked if we could present it on Sunday and if it could be even longer.

At each opportunity to hear this program, more and more people came. On Sunday, I'm not sure how many showed up, but it seemed like just about everyone was there. We would play the podcast for a while and then each one of us would stand up to give our testimony of our faith. To close up the program, the missionary stood up and talked about how important prayer is and how it connects us to God. For anyone that lived in fear from spirits (and many of them have), the comfort of knowing that God is stronger than all of them and that a relationship with Him (through Jesus) lets them not live in fear, but peace... that comfort speaks into their lives.

There are people that are hungry for the word of God. Scripture in their heart language is powerful, and the peace that God speaks into the lives of those living in fear can give them hope and joy. They heard and wanted more. Who will give out the food God has prepared?

Work, Work, Work

While we were in the village of Igoi, we met a lady who suggested that we should go to her house and take a picture of her with her house... so we did. When we got to her house, it had the most beautiful view!

 We sat down and storied a little (as the interns worked more on their language skills). At one point, we discussed different housing in the USA, floods, and homelessness. Anyway, one of the interns wanted to look through her garden (since it was so close to her house) and get a kind of vocabulary lesson of what plant is what. Thus, I attempted to communicate this. (*Please keep in mind that Pidgin is a language with a limited vocabulary so often you must talk around things to get your point across.) So I asked her if she could show us around her garden so we could see what different vegetation there is. She replied that the sun was high and it might cook (or burn) our skin. I explained that we had on something that made our skin strong (sun screen... which we called "strong skin" for the rest of the summer) and so she grabbed a stick and led the way.

 I soon realized that what I thought I'd communicated and what she interpreted were two different things. She put us to work finding and hauling kaukau (a kind of potato/rooted veggie). She got the guys big sticks to put down into the ground and push up the kaukau as we women put bilums (bags) on our heads and would catch and carry the kaukau from whomever found it. "Yu noken sanap na noken sindaun. Yu mas wok tasol." In other words, "you can't stand straight up or sit down. Just work." Even when the bilums were giving us headaches and I tried to tell her we were done, she explained that there was still plenty of room in the bilums.

Never had I ever met a Papua New Guinean like this woman. Usually people were very delicate with us, and even some that acted like we could break if they gave us too much to do. Not this woman. She was more strict with us, but I kind of respected her for that too. And still, after we brought this kaukau back to the house, I opened my mouth again and said that we had some time and could help peel them when she asked. She got out her one knife and we took turns peeling the kaukau. Everything I did in how I peeled it was wrong. I gave the knife to Bre (who held the knife the exact same way, and cut it the exact same way) and the lady praised her for doing it right.

Who knows, but when we were leaving and we gave her our thanks, she hugged all of us (even the guys). Once again, PNG people don't usually hug like this. She was unique, spirited, and a person that I don't think I can ever forget. She was a character and made an impression on all of us. I wonder what impression I leave with others... or am I forgettable? Whatever the case, I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps. 139:14) and so are you.

Trip to Madang Haus Sik

When we were in Madang town (during the midway part of our trip), we got to go to the "haus sik" (or hospital) with a couple missionaries. One of the things that we (as women) got to see was the maternity ward. We got to hand a few things out to new mothers and soon-to-be mothers. There were even a few twins and a mother that had triplets!

At one point, we got to see the ICU area for premature babies. There were two babies. I'd never seen such tiny infants. One could probably fit in one hand and the other wasn't much bigger. It looked like every effort made by these babies was to hold on to life. Just to breathe seemed like great exertion. I couldn't help asking God to look out for them (which I knew He already was).

I have a hard time with some things like that. If a person is living well enough, there's no turmoil within me. Even when someone dies, I find it easier to cope than when a human being (especially a child) lives with pain or hardship. Still, seeing these small babies grasping at life with all they had made me want to be more bold and live life to the full. Why should we live in fear or waste time being so negative? With so many new lives coming into the world, may we be reminded of the gifts we are given and how great our God is.

Hike to Igoi

I knew we would make it to the top. I just didn't know how the journey from the starting point through the end would be. We had bounced up and down in the two vehicles that were driving us as far as possible towards the village of Igoi. We got to a bridge that was slanted and not connected to our side of it. It was evident that we would start walking from there. We got our things out of the cars, over the bridge, and by the river. We waited for a while and a few people came to help us get our things across the river... and then we waited for a few hours more.

When we got a few more people to walk with us and to help us carry things, I wanted to carry my backpack for as long as I could. The first bit of the hike was through thick mud and vines at our feet. There weren't many trees as cover, but for this hike, we got going early enough that it wasn't blazing. There were times when the mud would cling to our shoes/boots and for the other two expat girls in our group, some of the women would cut mud off of their shoes. I figured the mud would eventually come off when we got into the jungle. I don't remember how long it took, but I was asked about four different times if I wanted to give my pack to someone else. I said "no" for four times, and then, at one point, I just stopped and gave it away.

We eventually made it into the jungle and, shortly after, to a river that we walked through and then had a break. They said this was the halfway mark, but I doubt it. From there on, it was pretty much up. Like, straight up. At some points, we were almost climbing on the side of the mountain. One misstep could mean that we ended up 50 feet below. At one point, one of the interns had asked how much longer we had. Someone replied, "Em klostu liklik." Directly translated, this means "its pretty close." But culturally, this could mean, "if we keep walking like this, we should get there today." To the interns, this meant around 30 minutes. About 40 minutes later, we came to a spot where the trees opened up and we could see more of the mountains ahead. One of the nationals pointed to a house almost on top of the mountain we were beside of and said, "we'll be going by that house and then be at Igoi." My interns were not happy and I decided that even I could've done without that knowledge. From then on, the interns learned about the cultural difference of "klostu liklik" and "klostu tru" (really close).

After about 6 or 7 hours from where we began hiking, we made it to the top of the mountain. As we all laid on our backs on the ground, one of the interns got some energy and chased kids around. When we had chilled out on the grass for a while, we eventually made it up to the house we were to stay in, checked on the water and battery situation, pumped water some up to the top of the house, sorted things, and started dinner. We wound down, found huge geckos, and eventually went to sleep on our first night (at least the interns' first night) in Igoi.

What Do You See?

What makes up a person if not for their experiences? Why are some able to be so vulnerable when others shut everyone out? What makes us fight or run or freeze? What gives us joy and sorrow?

Sometimes, I almost wish I could be like Sherlock Holmes. I know he's a fictional character, but even so, I marvel at things that can be discovered through looking closely at the details.

Do you see others? (And I'm talking about the kind of "seeing" that is described in the movie Avatar -the one with the blue people- where its deeper than looking with our eyes. Its accepting who that person is.) I ask that question, because many times, I walk through a store and am in task-mode. Sometimes, when around others that I've known my entire life, I'm going through the motions and don't take time to see them.

Once, a recent friend asked me if I had ever done ballet. I said, "yes, when I was maybe 3 or 4 years old. How did you know?" He replied that he noticed how I held my hand and fingers in a particular way. He related it to someone else he knew who had done ballet. What?! Something so small, but he'd noticed. People remember when someone takes time on them, when someone notices them, and when someone sees them.

In such a generation that is so focused on themselves, it seems like they are crying out to be noticed. I've been trying to ask more questions about them. When I do, I see looks that are slightly taken back from the fact that I'm asking about their lives. As much as I want to be seen sometimes, this life is ultimately not about me and my glory. When I ask about others and find myself investing in them, I hope that I can honor God through the process.

If people are yearning for a chance to be noticed and to know that they are special, then why shouldn't that be a way for us to decrease and Him to increase? Let us see each other in love, trying to understand motivations, and turning the attention towards the One who created us and was willing to die so that we could know His love.

Constructive Criticism

Have you ever watched a talent show (like American Idol, America's Got Talent, or other--obviously not all from America) and seen those who think they can sing... and can't? When a judge is straight up blunt with them, it hurts but is somewhat refreshing too. Still, how could they not see it before being on national television!? Oh yes... because friends or family or perfect strangers all wanted to be uplifting and didn't want to hurt someone's feelings, right?

There can be denial that happens as a result of such news ...or acceptance.

I want to apply this to a few other abilities beyond singing. Think of interior design. Or directing. Or dancing. Or acting. Or counseling. And so on and so on. Almost any job. When is it a good time to say, "look, I don't think this is for you... not your strong suit"? (Seriously, I'm wanting an answer here!)

Now, I don't want to be misunderstood. I believe that people need to try new things and can learn from experience. If someone messes up, learn from it!

What I'm talking about is a person that is either a sensitive (or sometimes stubborn) friend or even a superior. A person who keeps on making the same mistakes over and over and doesn't see them as mistakes to correct. A person who gives you jobs to do so that their decisions affect how others see you as well.

Criticism can come to anyone at any time, but turning it into constructive criticism takes work and practice. I'm totally not perfect at giving it yet. However, when I try to give it to someone who doesn't even want it (or refuses to listen at all), its rough.

Let's flip it around. Could you (or I) be one of these people that thinks we're awesome at something when we're just not? Are you able to take advise or direction? I know its hard for me in times when I don't respect the person giving it or when I've just not processed the fact that I need it. We can ultimately only change ourselves, but we do have an effect on others around us.

Let's not be critical, but be constructive.

Valentine's Day... Why?

I have never had a date (with a guy) on Valentine's Day. I've gotten to hang out with friends, and (though I can call them "friend dates") its not the same.

While I was in PNG, I didn't have a problem with this day. There's nothing to remind me of it because it doesn't exist there. When I was younger, I loved it. I would try to do something for my parents and enjoyed sending cute messages to classmates. As I got into high school, I liked surprising some of my friends with notes/valentines of encouragement and greetings. This followed a bit into college where those of my friends who were single would get together with me, and we'd hang out to celebrate our singleness as well as our annoyance of the "couple holiday".

Now that I'm in the States and have all of these commercials, gifts, and banquets shoved to my attention again, I decided to look up who started it in the first place (so I'd know who to blame).

According to an article that I found on the internet (surely true, right?), a pope was trying to replace a holiday around the month of February that had guys picking girl's names out of an urn so that those girls would be their lovers for a full year. The pope apparently wanted to change it to pick out a saint's name and strive to act more like them throughout the year. I can see the reasons for this, but it didn't really work. Eventually, it changed into what we've got today with more details that I'm sure you can find on the internet as well.

So, what do I do now? I guess I'll do what I've been doing: celebrate my singleness and encourage others through it. I will admit that I have moments when I'm bummed out, but why should I get down because I don't have a date? I have many lovely people in my life... and if that fails (because they all are coupled up), there's always jamming out to music and having a personal dance party. But even more so than these things, I have God who loves me and knows what I need, right when I need it.

Happy Valentine's Day OR Single's Awareness Day everyone!

How It Was Meant To Be

I have known that I am (more or less) a quiet person. To those who know me more or most, I am not always so. Even with these close friends or family members, I still usually reel it back with many things. A big thing that often I do this with is music.

Let's face it! When I'm around others, I don't want to be extremely loud, annoying, or seemingly arrogant. Though I sing with a few (my sister and mother most of the time), I'm typically listening in order to blend better with them and harmonize when I can.

My sister mentioned recently that I have seemed more reserved since coming back from Papua New Guinea. Its like I've been reverting back to when I was in middle school or before. Only a few knew the deeper "me". I would only open up with some I had tested little by little and had found that they would be less inclined to judge or make fun of me. Not many people really did that ever anyway, but I've always been cautious. In any case, I did notice that my singing in PNG was lessened (since everyone could hear me because of living so close together).

Because I'm now in Pride and Prejudice and we've been rehearsing, I've been working on projecting with a British accent. I hope I'm getting better (since it bugs me when lines aren't heard during a play). After practicing, my family went out for dinner. Seeing that I had to leave for the theatre soon after, I stayed, did some dishes, and sang like I haven't gotten to sing in so very long!

I didn't have to worry about bothering anyone's activities or thinking that someone else might hear. I just sang. And I loved it and realized how much I'd missed it. Truly, I've been singing more since I got back into the States, but not quite like this. I sang powerfully and felt free. I used my voice like God has made it and I sang songs like they were meant to be sung.

I cannot say that I will immediately become like I was in high school and through college, nor will I promise that I will remain in this more-shy state. I will say that this entire thing is a part of who I am. I am reserved and outgoing. I am able to give and take. But I suppose what I found today was that I still need to find a way to let my voice out and not be ashamed of what others may think.

I want to live my life how it's meant to be.