Drama, Drama, Drama

It never fails.  I got a fortune cookie saying I'll have an exciting surprise.  I got this cookie after much of the following happened... so I think I've had plenty of surprises to last me for a while.

After already kicking a guest out for drinking alcohol in the room, smoking in the room, and not paying for two nights, I had to kick the same guest out again.  At first, I thought he had forgotten to pay me (as some guests do) and so I left him a reminder with a time to pay by (or he was not going to be able to stay here anymore).  I didn't get the payment so I went up to his room.  He was at an appointment and thus wasn't there.  I went in and saw (and smelled) the effects of smoking in a room.  I began cleaning and airing out the room.  While cleaning, I found the alcohol (along with food that should be kept in a refrigerator instead of at room temperature... yuck).

I got a call from someone over at the hospital who told me that the guest was worried about the deadline of the payment and that he was admitted for medical reasons (meaning he wouldn't be able to get here in at least 24 hours).  I told them that he could come to collect his belongings and leave his key, but he could not stay here anymore because of breaking the conditions.

About a week later, the rooms aren't going to be needed (on one of the nights).  On nights like this, I try to be as loud as possible whether having a dance party by my self, turning up the tv, or even talking out loud in a higher volume.  I lock the front door and turn out the main lights (since no one will be using them).  I had gotten ready for bed after doing the above, but had smelled this smoke smell all day.  As I got into bed and was reading, I heard a few light thumps from above my room.  This was the room the guy had stayed in before and had not brought back the key.  (*Praise the Lord that I didn't have anyone else staying in that room!!)

I called the police/security in order to have someone go check with me... since I'm a girl and am not going to try to take on another guy by myself if there's backup that I can call.  He came over and I told the cop the situation.  I gave him the key so he could open the door before me.  We found the same guy that had been there a week ago... smoking, drinking, and with an altered mental status.  The police guy made him get his things and leave.  I went to get his other things that he had left last time.  He "couldn't take them right then" and would be coming back to get them later.  ...so I took his key and started cleaning... again.

He finally picked up the rest of his things today.  He's a nice guy, but needs to get his mind straightened out a bit so he can make better decisions than that.

On top of this, I've had recent guy drama and constant sister drama.  The fortune cookie now says that there will be a secret romance in my future.  Maybe I should stop reading fortune cookies...

My grandfather (on my mom's side) was anything but boring.  He was a pilot, missionary, preacher, was stubborn, and had a zeal that drew people to see how to really enjoy life.  I just wish I could've known him more personally.  Maybe in Heaven I'll get a nice, long talk with him.  Surely I have some of him in my blood.  I want to be like him and live everyday like its never gonna be here again.

Who is someone you know that lives life to the fullest?  ...who inspires you to be a better person?  ...who you want to hear their adventures and learn from their experience?

The Experienced and the Naive

I found myself having lunch with a friend and (though many people were around) the conversation went towards a touchy subject for some:  Virginity or lack there of.  We talked about the amazing fact that someone of my age can still be a virgin and I wondered why it is that way.  Why are we so willing to give ourselves away?  Emotions?  Acceptance?  Experience?  What?

Many aren't afraid to tell of their "experiences" and from their words, there is no shame in being had by someone who's not going to stick it out through life with you.  I know people don't want to make waves, and personally, I don't want my friends that have had these experiences to think I believe myself to be better than them.  I'm not.  God has met me where I've fallen and helped me back up.  He's good like that.  I just want to know how we (as a culture) could do things differently; to make things less tempting or more serious.  Ideas?

Kung Fu

I believe I started going to Kung Fu on November 19th of 2010 and I'm super thankful that it was revealed to me!  Yes, I've gotten plenty of bruises and came away from it sweaty and sore.  Still, I realize that I feel more confident, fit, and have a bigger smile because of it.  I've been swapping back and forth between Aikido and Kung Fu.  Aikido means "harmony" and uses the other person's aggression against them.  In Kung Fu, I am a crane and have worked on punching, kicking, body position, and other such things.

I'm not really working for belts, but rather the knowledge that comes with them.  I want to be able to know a bit more of what to do if I fall into a compromising position that I have to fight my way out of.  I am not one who wants (or goes looking) to fight or hurt anyone.  Tonight, though, I found that I am able to bite back if I'm hurt.

One of the guys I was learning from started showing me some moves.  He said that "if they're not hurting, you're not doing it right".  I was hurting when I was learning these moves, but it also helped me to be a bit more aggressive with him.  When I am out on a street and some guy comes looking to hurt me, do you really think he'll hold back?  If he doesn't, I don't need to either.  I'm not talking about killing or anything.  I would NEVER.  I just need that chance to hurt him enough that he doesn't want to try it again... or at least that chance for me to get away.

I love learning these things (even though I'm one of the only girls there who really participates).  More girls need to get involved in this kind of self defense... just in case.  If nothing, its been a good opportunity to bond a bit with my brothers!

Side note:  I got one of my EMT buddies to come with me Monday.  It was good to have her there and I think she liked it too!  Yay!

All At Once

For this title, I think of Jack Johnson.  If only this instance was more soothing like that song.  My mind has made rules.  They might seem to be stupid rules, but they're still rules in the end.  I feel empty.

Right now (because of stupid bills, payment on EMT class, and such), I have no money.  None to buy food or gas, which complicates things.  Please know this:  I don't want help if you read this.  Its kinda one of my rules in my head.  Since I'm raising money in order to go train in Dallas and then go to PNG, I don't want to ask for help right now (since I'd rather have help for raising money for the previous).  Weird, I know, but it happens.  I'll survived.  I've done it for about two and a half weeks so I can do it again until payday in the middle of this month.  Let me revise that a bit:  God is helping me do this.  He knows what I need... and apparently, my pride needs to be broken a bit in the process (is what I'm guessing).

Still, another issue is that I'm dizzy.  It started a bit on Tuesday morning, slacked off, and continued back strongly this morning (and still now).  This morning, the dizziness was accompanied with a bit of nausea.  I didn't really get sick (praise God), but it was there.  It took a bit off of my focus to checkoff on my IV and meds push for EMT class... but I passed (another praise God).  Mom and my brother Casey said they weren't feeling well today either, and someone stole the money out of my mom's bank account.  Dude!!!!  What?!

To top everything off, my sister and I are having issues still.  They seem to continue to escalate the longer we set "problem-solving" on the back burner.  Ever since I came back from college, we've both changed and haven't really had the time to get to know each other again.  There's also the boyfriend of hers that I don't quite get along with and it seems she's always picking him over me any day.  We're trying to work things out, but I'm so tired of fussing that I'm about to just give up completely.

I know that God only gives you what you can handle... or there's something He's set up for someone else to help out with too.  It just reminds me of Job and his trials (though this is nothing remotely close to the harshness of them).  It'll work out, but encouragement and advice are always welcome!