All At Once

For this title, I think of Jack Johnson.  If only this instance was more soothing like that song.  My mind has made rules.  They might seem to be stupid rules, but they're still rules in the end.  I feel empty.

Right now (because of stupid bills, payment on EMT class, and such), I have no money.  None to buy food or gas, which complicates things.  Please know this:  I don't want help if you read this.  Its kinda one of my rules in my head.  Since I'm raising money in order to go train in Dallas and then go to PNG, I don't want to ask for help right now (since I'd rather have help for raising money for the previous).  Weird, I know, but it happens.  I'll survived.  I've done it for about two and a half weeks so I can do it again until payday in the middle of this month.  Let me revise that a bit:  God is helping me do this.  He knows what I need... and apparently, my pride needs to be broken a bit in the process (is what I'm guessing).

Still, another issue is that I'm dizzy.  It started a bit on Tuesday morning, slacked off, and continued back strongly this morning (and still now).  This morning, the dizziness was accompanied with a bit of nausea.  I didn't really get sick (praise God), but it was there.  It took a bit off of my focus to checkoff on my IV and meds push for EMT class... but I passed (another praise God).  Mom and my brother Casey said they weren't feeling well today either, and someone stole the money out of my mom's bank account.  Dude!!!!  What?!

To top everything off, my sister and I are having issues still.  They seem to continue to escalate the longer we set "problem-solving" on the back burner.  Ever since I came back from college, we've both changed and haven't really had the time to get to know each other again.  There's also the boyfriend of hers that I don't quite get along with and it seems she's always picking him over me any day.  We're trying to work things out, but I'm so tired of fussing that I'm about to just give up completely.

I know that God only gives you what you can handle... or there's something He's set up for someone else to help out with too.  It just reminds me of Job and his trials (though this is nothing remotely close to the harshness of them).  It'll work out, but encouragement and advice are always welcome!