Walking with Rain Drops: Pic #2

The entire day, I've been taking pictures with my mind and wondering if they could be my "picture of the day". There was an orange 1967 Chevy van (with a tire on the front grill) that made me smile and wonder where its destination was. Next, there was a brightly colored leaf that stuck briefly to my car's windshield wiper and then blew away. I could only imagine what a lovely story it could've told about today. But my mom suggested something earlier today and I knew I had to snap a few pictures.

A short time ago while riding with my family, I commented that I would like to walk the linear trail sometime. I'd walked it with friends and family before, but it had been forever ago. I know for sure that I haven't walked it since I left for PNG so it'd definitely been awhile. I've also been trying to encourage my family members to get out and exercise more... as well as myself.

Therefore, it surprised me slightly when my mom said that we should go walking on the linear trail today, rain or shine. I had been looking forward to it for much of the day. It ended up being my mom, my sister, my dog, and I. We wondered if we'd get rained on, and we did. Thankfully, we didn't get drenched.

At one point, my dog saw a squirrel hesitate right in the middle of the path. My dog became still suddenly. Then, slowly, he began to creep towards it (almost like a lion while stalking its prey). It cracked all of us up, and I hope that moment never fades from my mind.

When I got the camera out to take a picture, we all were walking. Posed pictures have their place, but I wanted some action. I took three pictures, but for some reason (though it doesn't show our faces), I liked this one the best. Walks shouldn't be stopped very long to take pictures or living in the moment doesn't really happen. Thus, in a culture that selfies are on the rise, there is a hope in me to walk past pictures of me simply posing (although that may still happen occasionally) and be present wherever I find myself.

Glossed Colors: Photo #1

It had been a little while since I'd picked up my camera. I guess in PNG I felt like it was almost a job to take pictures. If I didn't, how would I have an awesome newsletter every other month? I don't know how many people actually read them, but I enjoyed writing them... and my pictures were great reminders of what I'd been doing throughout each month or two.

Since being back, picture taking has felt "lessened". I take some on my phone, but even then, there aren't too many. Honestly, I haven't blogged much either. I've been thinking through my life a bit lately. I mean, I still don't have a full-time job (though I am getting short-time jobs in which I'm grateful). I have began writing goals and "to-dos" out before each day so I might have more of a reason to get out of bed and stay that way.

I don't know about you, but I need incentives and fun things to look forward to. Even cleaning in order to help out my family will do. I'm usually very motivated when it comes to other people's expectations as well as creative possibilities.

Anyway, many friends of mine have done a photo-a-day kind of thing for a year. Let's just say that I've got some friends who take GORGEOUS photos!!!! When I look at some of my stuff, it looks just okay as compared to their stuff. However, for some reason, the thought has come into my head... and once I grab hold of an idea, its hard to let it go.

So on a day like today, when the rain poured down on the plethora of colors that Autumn so beautifully represents, I couldn't resist. I suppose there's something about rain that makes me want to sip a hot beverage while attempting to capture what I glimpse, breathe in, listen to, and feel and translate them into words that will probably never do it justice. That's where the picture comes in. Perhaps it can contribute to what words lack.

And thus, the picture is what I saw out of a window. It was while my Mom and I went to grab my brother something to eat (before he went off to escort a friend in a parade and the homecoming half-time of our high school's football game). Yes, it was a bit wet, but he looked good (wouldn't let me take a pic) and took an umbrella.

I must preface this challenge I've made in my head first. Each time I put a picture up, I have no obligations as to how short or long my words may be. I look at this as somewhat of a snap-shot journal of each day. Its so easy to get into a routine of simply stating, "this is what I did today... for the record", but I do hope for more.

So, Cheers!! ...to beginnings of trying something new... and seeing how long I keep it going.

Unemployment

There are some that would think that someone without a job has things pretty good. I mean, they don't have to do anything so its like a vacation, right? Well, from my experience, its not. I'm not saying that things are terrible, but after putting in so many applications and being rejected or not hearing anything at all, it becomes frustrating and boring.

For those who I am in contact with every week, I get to hear the same questions asked: do you have a job yet? Have you tried so and so yet? I know they mean well and even those that suggest jobs. I just don't want to hear it any more. I'll find something. Yep, I say this as my funds run away without me really having to do anything. Car insurance and phone bills come in and more money slips out. (Honestly, as a really quick side note: I hate insurance... especially when its required. I know why its there, but I still hate it.)

I don't want you to think that I'm between a rock and a hard place. Not yet anyway... but its coming. Living with my family is nice, but I don't want to be a burden on them either. I have so many ideas of what I'd LOVE to do, but I'd need money to start them off.

In any case, I have faith in God. Through all the years I've lived, He has always blessed me with having whatever is needed to get by. Thus, this experience shows me that this time will be no different. He has still been getting me small, short-term jobs every now and then that help out a bit. I look forward to seeing what He has in store for me. Maybe I'll just be a ho-bo.

Learning from Boys

Its obvious: men and women think differently. Why wouldn't we? We're made different. As my brothers continue to grow up, I find that they are indeed capable of a level of communication and maturity. It has been fascinating to see them develop into teenagers and the process has provided the opportunity to know them a bit deeper. Though I don't claim to always get along, there is something that they (along with other sources) have shown me; something in which I want to have.

It is said that girls can hold grudges forever, and I admit that rifts in relationships have the biggest chance of staying with us. It is this that I want to let go of. I'm not going to say that all guys react this way to every situation, but I have seen evidence of when they just letting things go.

When guys argue or fight, many times (after its done) they walk off as if nothing happened. Its like they got it out of their system and its finished. I want that and am trying to practice it. When I do, I imagine that whatever offense was said or whatever wrong was aimed is simply a single drop of water rolling off my back. The issue disappears and the world is okay again.

So what happens when the same person continues to hurt me in a way that most girls can't stand (in a relational capacity)? All the drops of water come back to mind and it seems like I'm swept away in a flood. In Matthew 18:22, it talks about forgiving "seventy times seven", or continuous forgiveness. I'm trying, but no one said forgiveness is easy. It also says (in Matt. 6:15), "but if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." I know I'm no better than anyone else, and yet Jesus still took away my sins. And not only mine, but whoever is also being a jerk to me.

Let it roll off my back and be gone forever. Let me learn this from boys. 

2 and 1/2 months after PNG...

I've really appreciated being back Stateside, and especially back in my home church. When I got to worship there, the first time back from PNG, tears filled my eyes. I could sing in English, without people looking at me because I'm white, and I could harmonize without the group getting off key. I loved it.

Now, its been about 2 and 1/2 months since I got back. Just a few days ago, I unpacked my suitcases. "Why", you may ask? Well, I didn't have any good place to put anything. I was bunking with my sister since my former room had been taken over by items needing to be put somewhere. Now, I've got my sister's former room (she's married now) and am attempting to organize my former room as well as my present room. I'm still trying to get to some of the things in my former room, but that's only a matter of time.

In all of this, I have been blessed. As Sinatra sings, "I've been up and down and over and out, but I know one thing..." and for me, that's God's presence. He is with me and knows when I need whatever. In my church, we've been studying about suffering as God's provision. I look at things a bit different than many people around me now (though I kind of did before PNG too). Its like Paul: "in all things, I've learned to be content," though I still work on that one as well. As long as God is with me, I have no other want or need. He provides.

So, "what now?" Well, I don't know. I don't have a job quite yet. Am I going back to the mission field? I don't know. I've been thinking of being a foster/adoptive mom, possibly having a traveler's retreat and event barn... but God only knows what's truly next for me. Anyway, I suppose this is a small update to those who didn't already know. Ta!

Counting Blessings

Tuesday (April 15th)

First Flight: 
It didn’t feel real when Bethaney and I drove to the airport. I wasn’t truly leaving PNG, right? I must be going to Ukarumpa or a village or something. It’d been a total of 1 year, 8 months and 15 days that I’d been out of the USA. It seemed like another “ordinary” day in the Land of the Unexpected.

The first blessing I count is Bethaney. She was an advocate for me in trying to get my heavy baggage fees lowered. It didn’t completely work, but she made quite an attempt. Because of her, I decided that I needed to stand up for myself (especially during this trip) and not back down after someone says “no” once. Its hard for me because I figure whoever else knows more than I do; plus, I don’t like conflicts either. Still, this first blessing made a big impact on the rest of my travels home.

Before boarding, I ate my 3 bush biscuits/crackers, some peanut M&Ms, and the rest of my Powerade. (I’m glad I ate when I did!!) I hugged Bethaney, waved one more time before climbing the steps into the airplane, and headed out. I had two big suitcases as checked baggage, one carry-on, and one bilum/purse. My carry-on was too big for this plane’s over-head compartments, so it was sent down with the other baggage.

Second Flight:
The plane flew me to Lae and I was to get on another plane to Port Moresby. I’m just glad I didn’t miss it. I wasn’t sure if I had to go inside and they’d call us or if I needed to get on right then. Well, I went inside. Thankfully, I soon realized that I needed to ask somebody about it, and I did. They checked me off the list and I got on the next plane. I asked the steward about my carry-on and there was much bustle about it. At one point, I was called to go out of the plane and confirm it had been transferred. The luggage guy said it had so I got on the plane again. The steward guy kinda hit on me during the flight, but it wasn’t one of those annoying or creepy experiences. He was nice but I was flying out of the country. I was glad when he didn’t ask for my number or address.

Third Flight:
After that, we landed, I got my two big suitcases and one smaller carry-on (--it was there so blessing number 2--), and went to check in for my next flight to Brisbane. The girl said that Virgin Australia only allowed one bag and that I had to pay 250 kina for extra luggage. I asked for a discount, told her I didn’t see anything on the website (it was hard to navigate that website in the first place), and really stood up for myself like I’d never done before. (She was sweet though so there wasn’t friction.) Finally, I asked if 100 US dollars would be enough for that. She checked with a coworker and said no. I asked if she could hold my bags while I checked out the exchange place. She did.

When I got through the line, I asked them how much US cash would it take to get 250 kina. The lady said $104. I had it so I took it! I paid for my luggage and kept praying that I wouldn’t have to pay much more for it (as I only had $255 to begin with--saving $60 for  my Delta flight since they’re upfront about cost-- thus leaving me with $91). Blessing #3 is that I had the money to get my luggage through and a bonus was that the guy hooked me up with a free temporary Australian visa (since I'd be there over 8 hours). While I was waiting for my flight, I met an elderly chap going to Brisbane too. He was cute and sweet.

Well, when I got on the flight, where I had two guys jump up to help me get my carry-on in the over-head compartment (blessing number 4). The plane staff offered snacks and food if you had AUS dollars or NZL money. I had neither. The stewardess gave me cheese and crackers for free when I explained my situation. The two guys beside me joked about it (fun guys), and then one gave me an apple later. Blessings 5 and 6 are the food items that they gave because by then I was really hungry (and since I’m hyperglycemic, its best to keep me fed.)

Fourth Flight:
When I landed in Brisbane, I got my checked luggage again and went through customs. The guys there were really nice and appreciated the conditions of all of my things except my cassowary bone. I guess lacquer isn’t enough when it seems to still have gunk still in it. (They said they could've let it go if I was flying out from there, but nope.) They also took a couple of shells that they said can have slug eggs lying dormant for years and then can hatch later (bringing a couple of diseases along with them). I wasn’t going to pay 60 AUS dollars for these things to be treated over a month (because, let’s face it... I was leaving the next day). However, blessing number 7 was that I got to keep everything else that I brought through customs (and the guys were nice and informative).

I checked in for my next flight to Sydney where --blessing number 8-- the lady didn’t charge me for my extra weight in my luggage (one being 4 kg over and the other 1 kg over). I met a nice couple that had just gotten back from the Solomon Islands and we road the bus together (as I got to the domestic terminal).

I checked the gate number and found I had a little bit of time. I went and bought my brother a boomerang (because that’s the only thing he really asked for) and they took my US money and gave me a little AUS change in return. I was now at $71 and went looking for some kind of snack to hold me over. I found a Boost bar and asked the super awesome and extroverted guy if he accepts US dollars. Along with a conversation as to where I’d just come from and that he can’t speak Pidgin well, he said they don’t accept US dollars. I mentioned that I had a little change, but that I was sure it didn’t amount to 3.50 AUS. He said to pull it out and we’ll see. I pulled it out and without counting, he said, “that’ll do”. Blessing number 9... this guy!

I ate the Boost bar with much gusto and met two little girls with their dad (as well as another guy who was from Oregon but lived in Sydney now). The girls were around 3 and 2 years old and liked Dora the Explorer. The dad jokingly asked if I was available for the next week. I almost wish I was. They were cute kids and a bit of a handful for the dad. Blessing number 10: meeting the kids.

Well, I got on the plane (where they fed us a meal!!! aka blessing number 11) and listened to some music. When I landed, it was around 10pm and almost everything in the airport was closed (including the exchange places). I should’ve exchanged money in Brisbane, but I got distracted. I found a baggage holding place and they said it would be 15 AUS for each bag. I said that I only have US dollars and the guy said it had to be prepaid. It was raining, I didn’t have any other option, and he saw that. I was traveling alone and lugging two big bags, a carry-on, and a bilum wouldn’t really work. He gave me a break and said I could pay tomorrow with AUS money (blessing number 12).

I figured in my mind I needed to keep at least $30 back (though probably a bit more since the AUS dollar is stronger that the US currency at the moment. Thus, I had $41 left. The cabs and train people wouldn’t take US money and one of the guys around said he could take me to Cambridge Lodge since it was on his way home (if I didn’t mind waiting until 11pm). It was shady and I promise you, I talked to just about EVERYONE for any other option. One guy took $20 of my dollars and gave me 20 AUS dollars (so that was something), but by that time, it was about 11pm so I took the ride.

I told him I was nervous and why I was. He was cool about it and so it worked out. He got me to where I needed to go and headed out. He was SUCH a blessing (thus, blessing number 13). I emailed my family and a friend from PNG to let everyone know that I was safe. It was cold when I got in bed, but it was so good to sleep!

Longest Wednesday (April 16th)

Fifth Flight:
On the start of Wednesday, I woke up in the hostel, ate some cereal, and checked out. I asked which way to get to the train station and it wasn’t too confusing (thankfully). When I got there, I had to ask this family what I was suppose to do because there was a huge machine with TONS of buttons and I couldn’t find my destination. They helped me (blessing 14) and thanks to the guy who swapped me $20 for $20 AUS, I was able to get a ticket with a little change back. I missed the first train because of confusion on my part, but got a train, made it to the domestic airport, exchanged money, paid for my two big bags, and headed towards the train again to make it to the international airport (ridiculous really--- come on Sydney airport). Since the elevator was broken, I started shifting my luggage (two big, one smaller, and a full bilum) onto the escalator. The big ones tilted and almost slipped out of my hands and down the moving staircase, but instead, my body stretched to it’s limits and held the luggage together. A sweet couple (Peter and Elizabeth) saw my struggle and asked if they could help (since they were going to the international airport as well). Blessing number 15!!!!!

They dropped me off at my check-in point and we said our goodbyes. I met a lady from Britain in line who was going to visit a friend. We talked about luggage and such, but it was good to chat with a friendly stranger. My luggage wasn’t charged (and the lady said it would’ve been $75 if it was --blessing 16). I got on the plane, watched “Catching Fire” as well as the “Hobbit 2”, got a slight bit of sleep (or at least zoned off), saw the sunset from on top of the world (flippin’ gorgeous --and blessing 17), and helped some New Zealand cheerleaders with the U.S.A. states.

On all of the flights I’d had, I was sitting in the window seat which is blessing 18. When I got off in Dallas, I got my luggage (and a paper cut from one of the tags), was picked up by Bill and Charliece, and got to call my Mom (blessing 19). They let me see who was at the office at PBT and then let me chill/nap. Later, we went to eat at Subway (yum!!! and blessing 20), and then watched “The Croods” on Netflix (funny and blessing 21). It was so good to laugh and watch it with Papa Smurf. I met a lady named Tammy who had made me a gift bag with my name on it that had lots of goodies in it (awesome!!!!) Later Bob and Jacque came by and talked a little bit. When I had packed the other things into my luggage, I headed to bed. I slept all through the night!

Thursday (April 17th)

Sixth Flight:
I woke up early, got ready, and ate some Honey Nut Cheerios (Medley Crunch) ---good stuff! When Bob and Jacque came to pick me up, I hugged Bill and Charliece goodbye and headed back to the airport. When I got there, the guy said I had 10 lbs over on one bag. Jacque was able to take a few things (because this guy was going to charge me) and then we made it upstairs. I hugged Bob and Jacque goodbye and went through. I had an isle seat for this and the next flight.

Seventh (and last) Flight:
When I got into Atlanta, I was confused about my luggage and so went to make sure it wasn’t at the baggage claim. Well, that meant that I had to go through security again (though thankfully my baggage went on to my next flight. On the flight, I met a guy from Norway (which is funny since the two guys on my third flight were kidding around that they only had “Norwegian” money so they should get free cheese and crackers too).

When I got off the plane, I was so excited! I walked through and saw a sign saying “Welcome Home Michelle” in green (favorite color). I walked through the doors and felt like a movie star or something. I hugged my Dad and everyone else there (that I knew... obviously). Those at the airport also included my Mom, Danielle, Thomas, Lara, Regina, Scotty, Sheila and Jackson, Dawson, and Chris! I got a rose, a card, and some more hugs. Loved it!!!!!

We got my luggage and went to Pizza Hut. Those that were there were Joyce, John C., Linda, Kathy and Betty Ann, Kristy, Jon, Chris K., Lara, Kevin and Laura, Bobby and Regina, Robbie, Mom, Dad, Danielle, and Thomas. I had an absolute blast! The pizza and sweet tea was good too! All of these people add up to blessings as well. I also believe safety and provision from God was a huge blessing throughout all of this trip. Thus, There are really too many blessings to count...




What's Up For Now:

I’m glad to be home. There are some questions that I’m already hearing over and over. One of them being, “what are you doing next?” I don't know. I'll let you know when I know something. For now, I’m doing my best to give myself a week or two in order to get over some initial re-entry stress and jet-lag. I praise God for what He has done, but need to keep reminding myself to have a break. At times, my chest feels heavy, like I’ve just run a marathon and I struggle to catch my breath. With so many people that I’ve missed for this long, its hard for me to stop and rest. I’m trying. I can’t wait to catch up with everyone and see what God has next for me... but for now, I’ll try and “be still”.

Thank you for joining me on my adventure from Papua New Guinea to Tennessee (USA). I was blessed (no doubt by the many prayers that were lifted on behalf of me). Thank you and love you!

Too Tired!! (Working in Another Language)

We’re in our second week of teaching a computer course to nine nationals. Six different language groups are represented and we’re teaching in Pidgin (the trade language of PNG). There’s been four of us involved in teaching and I mainly do the typing (with accuracy and speed), have done some editing lessons, and help out individuals when they need it. I don’t have a huge or difficult part in this, but I still feel spent after each day.

Recently, when I would work with a group, I would start them off with what they were to do and then go back to my office to input corrections and make books as well as whatever else I needed to do. I wasn’t using Pidgin through most of the day. I felt this heaviness in my head when I was in Village Living and Gandep.

The thing is that these guys that I work with are also having two languages in their heads. To most, Pidgin is their second or third language too. This is one HUGE reason that there are still translation projects in progress in these different languages. When I read the Bible in Pidgin, it doesn’t really hit my heart like it does when I read it in my first language. I believe that this is our push: for these languages here in PNG to have God’s Word in their first (or heart) languages.

While I’ve been here, I’ve focused on literacy work. I mean, what’s the use in having the Word of God in their language if they can’t read or understand it? And here I am, coming close to the end of my time in Papua New Guinea. I’m helping with a computer course in order to help these guys (that are involved in their translation projects as well as are leaders in their communities) so the translation process might be furthered and sped along.

May the work here be continued until completion despite hardships and barriers... even when another language in my head tires me out without my immediate notice.