My: Future. Travel. People

I realized I hadn’t blogged in a while, so I tried to think about what all has been on my mind lately. To sum it all up, the word “future” might be fitting. I’m in PNG still, but will be heading back to the States in April. Already, I’ve been hearing phrases like, “are you counting down the days yet”, “what are you going to eat first”, and “are you planning on coming back”.

The first phrase implies that I’m excited to get back to the States, and honestly, I’m stoked! I’ve missed friends, family, and Tennessee’s mountains. It’ll be great to reconnect with everyone (and get to wear things like jeans). I’m not yet counting down in days; that count-down starts when I hit April. I’m trying to stick to weeks right now. Not counting the rest of this week, there are 6 weeks and a few days left. As each week goes by, it seems to go a little bit faster than the last. I don’t want to wish this time away. I want to enjoy the remainder of my time here. I want to live in the Present and keep getting work done. There are some things that I’m doing in preparation for heading back so maybe those things are mixing into the Present time (or the times I’m striving to be “present”). So, yeah, I’ve still got a little while more in this country, and yes, I’m extremely looking forward to getting Stateside, but I might be a little dizzy from both.

The second question could imply a few things, but I’ll just go with “the foods that we don’t have over here” implication. In college, I remember hearing about the “freshman fifteen” (either gaining or losing weight during this time). I feel like I’ve gotten more in shape while I’ve been here. I still admit that I could eat healthier (and will continue to try and try again towards that goal). I wonder if I’ll go through the “furlough fifteen”. Its the same concept. What can I say? People like alliteration. For some reason, I’ve thought about Pizza Hut’s stuffed-crust pizzas since I got here. There are other things that I’m excited to have around again, but my first thought is always pizza. Its not even like I ate there lots before coming to PNG, but if pizzas here are compared to Pizza Hut, they don’t really come close. When I get to the States, I want to continue exercising 5 times a week. With that, comes eating healthy. The fact that others may want to either take me out to eat or fix food for me is super sweet. However, I have to be careful. Maybe I can get a group together that wants to keep each other accountable for exercising and eating healthy.

Now comes the third question: “are you coming back?” Well, as I’ve tried to inform people thus far, I’m going to re-evaluate everything after this. This is where things get more crowded in my mind. One thing I have to remind myself is that I’m not here to please people. I will be a helper, friend, sister, encourager, and a servant to others. Nevertheless, I can’t please everyone. I say this first because I try. Yep, I try to please people all the time. I respect everyone’s opinions and love everyone I meet. So, there are some people who believe that they are right and that everyone else should think the same way as them. I am the opposite. I may not believe in what someone else believes, but I will either say nothing or almost go along with the other person because I don’t want them to think that I’m judging them. I don’t want to be like that and I don’t want to be the other extreme either. I’ve been trying to live in loving others no matter their choices or beliefs, and yet want to practice sharing what I believe as well. I hate conflict and, while growing up, I felt like “disagreeing” was a huge part of conflict. Now, I’m working on what it looks like to disagree and still continue being friends.

Anyway, coming back to the third question, there are many thoughts going through my head. Many options. I could come back and serve here in PNG. I could serve somewhere else in the world. I could stay in Tennessee and witness there. (Pretty much, anywhere I end up, I will want to serve and witness in my love for God and His people. The way I make a living might be a different issue. Will I get married? I’m not opposed, though it kind of involves finding an awesome guy. Will I have kids? That one is a “yes” if I have anything to do with it. I really want to adopt, so we’ll see when and how that happens. Whatever happens, I refuse to have a boring life. Though my life may be but a mist, I’d have it be a refreshing and lovely mist.

In all of this, I have made wonderful friends here. One thing about being a missionary: people seem to transition lots. They come for a while, touch your life, and go somewhere else for a while (whether that’s out to a village, back to the States, or wherever). I’m sure someone more famous and eloquent has captured the thought I will express next in a better way, but I still will say it. When you travel to another place, meet people, and live life, from that first time away, there will always be someone that will be missed (being apart from you). That being said, I will never regret traveling, because everyone I happen to meet is worth meeting. Through others, we have the opportunity to be connected into one family. Nice to meet you.