Time

When I was in high school, I always looked forward to summer breaks.  Who doesn't?  Most of it was spent in a routine of breakfast, cleaning, fixing lunch for the kids, and going out onto the front porch to read in the sun.  I never felt like I was waisting time.  I was in my own world, enjoying the day until Mom and Dad would come home.  It was peaceful, steady, and I felt good not watching tv. 

My days aren't quite like that anymore.  I get up, take the dogs out, eat, hang a bit with Dad, do letters and calls to churches to raise funds, clean (lots if I get in the mood), and other random things until the boys and Mom come home (unless I need to pick someone up).  There's a tiny bit of routine, but I feel like I don't get outside enough (which winter often does anyway) and I'm constantly feeling like I need to do more.  I get things done, but it doesn't feel like its enough.  I feel like I'm waisting time even though I'm busy. 

So what's the difference?  One was a break; the other's work.  One has sunshine; the other's in winter.  One has inner peace, the other worries on my mind.  I could totally be a bum on a beach and have total peace with it.  Still, I know that the work I do now is worth it.  Though I'd probably be a good beach bum, I know this to be what I need to do.  I just need the peace of sitting on my front porch in order to excel even more at what I'm doing... and a little more sun wouldn't hurt either.