Saying Goodbye

June 8th, 2017

Many people may say that the loss of a pet isn't a big deal. I wonder if those people have gotten close to a pet before or if they're simply trying to blow such an experience off. We had to put our dog, Tipper, down today. Now, first off, I've been the one to find most of our pets dead from natural causes. I was sad and we had a small funeral of sorts to commemorate their passing. While in PNG, I watched a pig die (after being stabbed... they had tried for the heart, but I guess it wasn't a direct hit?) It seemed to take forever for it to die. It was a rough experience, but I wanted to know how long death took. Sometimes, it seems like the guy in Chaucer's Pardoner's Tale when the super old guy says that life clings to him like a disease. Who would want everlasting life in a body that grows old and decays?

In "A Street Car Named Desire," Blanche says that funerals are easy, but deaths are hard. I would agree. I had dealt with animals that had died, even people that had passed... things weren't laughs and giggles, but time and life moved on. I suppose I haven't really lost someone who was extremely close to me yet. When that experience comes, I know it will be hard, but being with a soul when it leaves or hearing breaths of a living thing and then knowing the breathing stopped... and their heart stopped... it seems different... harder.

Peter Pan said, "Death would be an awfully big adventure." I'm sure it is, but when I reach the bridge of it, I hope I can gaze at who is on the other side waiting for me and sprint across it with glee. I don't know if dogs go to Heaven, but I believe God blesses prayers of His children... a child's prayer. That's what I prayed. When I was waiting for my sister and told God that's what I wanted... and then a brother... and then another brother... and He listened each time. Yep, I have a sister and two brothers. I didn't have to wonder. I knew... I hoped and had unyielding faith that it would happen. I prayed a prayer that felt like those today. As I felt Tipper was crossing that bridge, I prayed that God would take her to Heaven. That I would see her there. I know He heard me.

After it happened and we were driving back home, it hit me: I have to tell her son. Toby. He's officially mine, but I cried some more. Dumbledore once said, "Don't pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living." He's got a point. The dead have a better perspective. It's like wondering how your next year of life will be and then reaching the end of that year, looking back, and wondering what all the worry was about. We miss those who have gone on. We grieve and wonder what crossing that bridge will be like. But Peter Pan also says, "To live would be an awfully big adventure." With the hope we have, we don't have to worry. We just need to have a little faith, trust, and (if I can change the quote a bit) ...courage to truly live.